War Read online

  The growl calmed as footsteps echoed behind me. Pestilence carried the young girl into my apartment and eased the door closed, leaving me out here with Angel.

  Saliva dripped from her lips. She licked, staring at the closed door, calming the minute they were gone from view.

  My will shook like a damn leaf, but I lowered myself to the floor and reached out my hand. “There’s bigger things at play here. Things I don’t understand. I’m asking you to trust me. Can you do that? Can you trust me?”

  Her top lip lowered, the unhinged gleam in her eyes dulled as she turned her attention to me. She took a step forward, lifted her head, and licked my cheek, and it was as though a switch was tripped, and she was the same Angel, battered and bruised Angel, I’d found in that alley.

  Sloppy licks turned to nudges of my hand. I traced her face, finding the thick scars along her cheek. She was mine, my protector, my companion. “I’m not choosing sides here. Something’s happening. I can feel it, and I know you can feel it, too. I gotta find out what that is, okay?”

  I pulled her against me, placed a kiss on her hard head, and then rose. Soaked sweat pants stuck to the backs of my thighs. It hurt my damn heart to leave her behind. But I had no choice, not from that thrum of power inside me, and not from the young girl that needed my help.

  I made for the door and took one last look over my shoulder at her standing there at the head of the stairs before I slipped inside.

  The heavy throb in my chest sent an ache through my body. This felt like an utter betrayal. I took a step and shoved the door open wide before closing it behind me. Voices echoed from the direction of the bathroom. I strode forward, heading for the sound, as Pestilence murmured, “There, that should fix it. You’ll need to lie down for a while, just so we can keep an eye on you.”

  The booming in my chest picked up pace as I caught sight of him kneeling on the floor, his hands probing her ankle.

  This…man…monster was dangerous. No matter what he said.

  “Can you walk?” He asked as I stepped into the doorway.

  Water dripped from her jacket and clothes to puddle on the floor. Underneath the bulk of her clothes, her frail body shuddered. She lowered her foot to the floor, tested the weight, and winced. Pain tore through her blue eyes as she limped.

  I jumped forward, grabbing her arm. “How about we get you into some dry clothes and warmed up?”

  The tiny shake of her head said it all.

  “Don’t want no trouble,” she whispered. “Just want to get back.”

  “You can’t, not like this,” I answered. “You need to stay, at least for an hour or two, just so we can help you.”

  She gripped her jacket tight and shuffled forward until she hit the doorway. “I’ll be okay. Honest. I don’t want…” She glanced at Pestilence and then at me.

  She didn’t trust us.

  Either of us.

  Her sodden pant leg was stuck midway down her calf, the thick dry bandage holding it in place. Drops of blood seeped through the white gauze. I couldn’t let her walk out of here, not bleeding like that. That bandage wouldn’t last seconds in that water out there. “I’ve got some food, how about that? You look hungry. David could heat you up something. I’ve got soup, or beans…you like beans?”

  She stiffened with the words. I tried to ignore the raised brow from Pestilence. What was I going to do, call him by his real name?

  She was so quiet, such a meek little thing, giving a nod. “Yes, I like beans.”

  I forced a smile and held out my hand. “How about some clean clothes first? I bet I can find something nice and dry for you to wear.”

  She stared at my fingers for a second and then touched her drenched jacket.

  “It’ll be right here, drying while you eat. I promise.”

  Slowly, inch by inch, she moved toward me. The matted fake-fur edge of her jacket slid along bony shoulders as she gave a shrug and shook the coat free.

  We were all soaked to the bone, but this was about more than comfort with her—and more than food. It was about safety. “I saw you this morning, west of here.”

  She flinched with the words, shook her head.

  I grabbed the jacket and hung it over the door. “It’s okay, that’s your territory.”

  “There’s others,” she murmured.

  My chest tightened as I turned. “Your family?”

  She shook her head, saying no more.

  “David is going to heat some food while I grab you some clean clothes, and we can talk, okay?”

  Big blue eyes fixed on mine, and then she gave a slow nod. I wanted to say something else, something comforting. But there was nothing else to say. In this moment, there was only one thing that spoke, and it was action.

  I stepped away, making my way through the bathroom and into Sarah’s room. I rarely came in here anymore. Memories were my weapon, and they were scattered all through this room like jagged edges waiting to draw blood.

  I opened her dresser, staring at her favorite purple top. Sequins came away against my fingers. She always liked the sparkles, even as she grew.

  Soft cotton sank under my touch. I delved deeper, finding something that didn’t carry its weight of the past, and dragged it free. “I had a sister who was about the same age you are now. Maybe a year or two younger, but you’re thinner than she was.”

  There was no response, and, for a second, I thought she’d left, until the muffled sob echoed. My hand stilled on the drawer. I eased it closed gently and moved to the lower drawer, pulling out jeans and socks before I crossed the room to her closet.

  Thick, lined jackets took up most of the space. I grabbed a blue one from the far edge of the rack and then turned. “Okay, that should keep you nice and warm.”

  I gave her enough warning for her to dry her eyes before I headed to the bathroom once more. She stood in the same place, head down, swiping her fingers across her cheeks as I closed Sarah’s door behind me and placed the clothes on the edge of the sink. “I’ll be right out here, okay?”

  She gave a small nod, waiting for a second as I slipped past.

  “She okay?” I flinched and spun at the sound of his voice behind me. He looked at the door to the bathroom, and then shifted his gaze to the clothes in my hand. He was still dripping. His hair was stuck to his face. I caught a shudder along his body as he turned, giving me his back. “You need to stay dry and warm, Harlow.”

  My knees ached, my hip twinged. I stole a glance toward the bathroom, then shoved the sodden sweat pants and my panties down to my knees. Wet clothes dropped to the floor, I stepped into dry jeans and yanked them high before I turned toward my closet.

  I peeled the sweater and my shirt from my body and let them fall. My bra was next, sticking against my skin before I yanked it free. Soft fleece rubbed against my skin as I yanked the sweater over my head and speared my hands into the sleeves.

  “Soup’s all ready,” he murmured, and then he turned his head to whisper. “Be careful with her, Harlow. Everyone is the enemy. Everyone who isn’t us.”

  My hands stilled at the button on my jeans. I glanced toward the door and shook my head. “She’s just a girl.”

  She was neither enemy, nor friend…just like he was. Trust was a fickle thing. It was one step forward in the darkness, knowing that on the other side there was hope, there was salvation in this dying world. There was someone to care for you, and someone you cared for.

  It was not being lonely.

  And to me that was worth the risk.

  The bathroom door opened with a moan of the hinges. She took one hobbled step into the bedroom and glanced from Pestilence to me. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. “Sorry I was bit. Not watching the drains. Not watching where I was going. I don’t want no problems.”

  I eased the zipper high and shook my head. “You aren’t any problem. Come on, let’s get you fed, and we can talk about these others.”

  Footsteps echoed as I made for the door and then the kitchen. The salty scen
t of food wafted through the air. My belly tightened in response. Three mugs waited on the sink next to chunks of bread from yesterday’s cook.

  I grabbed a mug and a hunk of bread and held it out. She licked her lips, eyes riveted to what I held in my hand. It wasn’t much, the bread was more like a biscuit. I kept what dough I could find, adding barley, yeast, anything I could find, into a container, a little water and a pan and I had food.

  She dipped the hardened edge into the beef broth and shoved it into her mouth. I handed Pestilence his, and then wound my hand around the hot mug, handing her my piece of bread as she finished hers.

  She drank and licked, wolfing down her hunk of bread, and then mine and Pestilence’s before she drained the last of her soup.

  Flashbacks of steak and vegetables forced their way into my mind. I drank the broth as she looked around the kitchen. My insides tightened. I had to fight the natural reaction to protect what was mine, instead, I forced myself to speak. “So, what do we call you?”

  There was a shrug. “Others call me Nat.”

  “Short for Natalie?”

  She stiffened. “I guess.”

  The shake to her head could’ve been a shudder. I looked at her scrawny build and sunken cheeks. “Is there anyone?”

  “The rains washed them away.” Her fingers danced on the air. She was fractured, mentally…half here in this world, and half in her head.

  Just like me.

  “You think you can show me where?”

  She took a step backwards, distancing herself. There was a flicker of fear in her eyes. Something had happened, something more than floating bodies in the street. Something she wasn’t saying.

  “It’s okay, you can stay here. Just tell me where they are, and I’ll look myself.”

  “No,” her plea was a hiss. She limped forward, grasping my arm. “You can’t go there.”

  “Why?” Pestilence took a step closer.

  But she wasn’t answering, only flicking her gaze left and right. Her body twitched as though she was fighting the urge to run.

  “I won’t go in. I promise. But we need to make sure they’re not a threat. You okay with that?”

  She seemed to think long and hard about it and then finally gave a nod. “The place you saw me yesterday? It’s the supermarket to the north. You gotta walk around the crater though, the ground there is weak.”

  “Fallout, supermarket to the north. Okay, I got it,” I glanced at the bandage on her leg. “You want to stay here? I’ve got books, and a dog, Angel can stay with you?”

  Her brow wrinkled. “Can’t read.”

  “Then I’ll find some with pictures. There’s food and water to bathe. I’ll be back before dark.”

  “I’m coming with you.”

  There was no room for argument in his voice. I gave a nod and then moved toward the doorway. “I’ll get ready, while you change into something drier. Dad has rain jackets in his closet that will fit. Take whatever you need.”

  I left them there and headed to the bedroom. Rain pelted against the window as I stepped inside and closed the door.

  There was no easing; if anything, the drops smacked against the glass harder than before. I stared into the washed-out view to the faint red clouds and shuddered.

  Don’t do this, the voice in my head whispered. You can just stay here. You don’t have to leave, you don’t have to save anyone.

  And yet there was that humming inside me, that calling to my soul. It wanted me to go out there, wanted me desperate, wanted me fighting.

  It wanted me saving and caring.

  That hum echoed as I yanked the sweater over my head and slid my arms through my bra. The book of Revelations lay on the dresser beside the bed. Memories of that day slipped out of the darkness.

  Hands touched me, lips kissed. Pestilence moved above, his body moving inside mine. I clenched my thighs as a tiny lick of heat travelled. My pulse sped, making me nervous…making me want him.

  How could I want someone I couldn’t yet trust?

  I shoved my feet into my boots and headed back out again.

  He was waiting for me at the door, coat buttoned, hood low. He turned his head, pierced me with those brown eyes, and murmured “Ready?”

  And in a second, it hit me. He was here, unwavering. Determined to stand by my side no matter what happened. He asked for only one thing in return…trust.

  It was all we had to trade—I glanced toward Nat and then nodded—trust, safety…and yet I didn’t have to look into his eyes to see he wanted more.

  He held out his hand. The act so simple, and yet the meaning was so much more.

  I took a step and reached out. Fingers entwined…skin on skin, something perfect.

  Something pure.

  This time I didn’t let my head speak for me—I let that calling inside me take the lead as he reached for the lock and opened the door.

  Whatever happened out there…we’d handle it together.

  6

  The hallway was quiet as I shut the door behind us. I opened my mouth, Angel’s name on the tip of my tongue, and stilled. No movement came from up above. Normally, I’d hear her sniffing, hunting mice and other small rodents. But not anymore. Our relationship had changed.

  The small tug on my hand pulled me toward the stairs. “We need to be careful out there,” he murmured. “More than usual.”

  Steps flew by under my feet. “I’m always careful. Don’t worry, I’m not the hero type.”

  He stilled with the words and turned to face me. I stared down into his brown eyes, one tiny tug and I stepped down onto the step above him.

  There was a tiny smile on his lips as he murmured, “You have no idea how wrong you are.”

  A loud snuff below us made me flinch. Angel moved slowly, ears flattened, sniffing. But there was no growl, not even a look toward him. She dropped her head toward his clothes and dragged in the mingled scent. There was a whine and then a nudge.

  “I think we’re all good,” he murmured, and lifted his gaze. “She was just scared I was going to hurt you.”

  He reached down and carefully scratched the spot between her ears. There was no snarl, no growl. It was as though she was a different dog.

  “I don’t understand what’s gotten into her. She’s acting strange.”

  He lifted his gaze. “It’s not just her. Tell me you don’t feel it, that hunger in the air…that nervous tension that’s racing through your body like a charge.”

  I inhaled as he turned and stepped. My boots were a blur as I raced after him. Angel trotted beside us, jumping down the last stair as we hit the foyer and headed to the basement doors once more.

  The water had receded fast. What remained of the rush had seeped out between the gaps in the door, leaving ankle-deep water behind. Pestilence waded in and then turned.

  The movement took me by surprise as he slid his arm around my waist and lifted. The other hand caught the backs of my knees, and he was turning, wading through the mess.

  Movement caught my gaze. Rats squealed as they scurried away. I winced with the sound, finding beady little eyes from matted fur in the dark as we stopped at the small table at the doorway.

  “Grab what you need, and take extra ammunition,” he urged, stopping long enough for me to grab the two Sig Sauers and four magazines.

  I fumbled with the lock, sliding it backwards, and shoved open the door. Rain pelted down as we stepped through. He lowered my legs, dropping my feet to the ground.

  Angel pushed between us, then gave a sneeze and a shake. But it was the sky that called me. I lifted my head, staring at the red glow behind bruised clouds. “What is that?”

  “A meteor.”

  My breath froze as I turned my head, staring into his eyes. “A what?”

  “A meteor,” he answered. “On fire.”

  There was no flinch in his words…just stony acceptance. I lifted my head to the red hue once more. “This is the end, isn’t it?”

  “Yes…yes, it is.” He lo
wered his head, unable to fight the soft curl of his lips.

  The flare of anger burned right through my center. “What’s so funny? What could be funny about the end of the world?”

  “The world isn’t ending, Harlow. It’s about to begin. A new eon…a new age.” He glanced up at the sky one last time and then turned. “We’d better hurry. He’ll be here soon.”

  “He?”

  There was no stopping, only a slight turn of his head. Through the pounding rain, I caught the answer. “You still don’t get it, do you? The anger, the rage…that tightening in the pit of your stomach…and the rush of a breath against your skin. War isn’t just coming, Harlow. He’s already here.”

  I flinched with the words and scanned the darkened alley. That tightening ache around my stomach trembled. Fire licked somewhere deep inside and the heat of that tongue travelled all the way through my body.

  “You can feel him, can’t you? Feel him responding, feel him hunting. You called him, Harlow. Whether you understand or not, you called him.”

  Rain smacked the tip of my nose as I lifted my head, opening myself to that calling inside me.

  Conquer…conquer…conquer

  I shuddered with the need. I wanted to touch him…to love him, and the memory of that train station bathroom took flight inside my mind.

  I believed God spoke to me.

  I believe he gave me a purpose.

  Conquer them, he commanded as the four horsemen moved out of the darkness and into the light. But blood on my hands wasn’t what he wanted.

  I knew that.

  I’d felt it as soon as I clasped the chains around his hands and locked Pestilence in the basement.

  I felt it as soon as I turned my back on the one who’d found me—who fought for me…who saved me.

  Conquer didn’t mean just violence.

  It almost meant love…

  The words echoed as Pestilence scanned the alley and then stepped out. I followed, pointing the way before I took the lead. Gutters had turned into rushing rivers, washing away everything in their path.

  And still that word echoed…conquer….conquer.